September 29th, 2011 
jvremec
Set Healthy Boundaries
Do you allow others to do and say things to you that do not feel good? Would you like to establish new patterns to deal with the problem?
Everyone needs to set healthy boundaries. This is a gift to others and you. By allowing people to act in ways that are not appropriate, you actually hurt them too because they are stuck in their unhealthy behavior. Therefore, it is important to learn how to establish boundaries for all involved.
The following week, Denise told me that she said to Alan in a calm, firm voice, “I am not willing to live this way.” To her surprise, Alan changed his attitude and stopped his negative behavior. In fact, he was his kind self again. I imagine that he heard her and realized that he could no longer get away with his actions without a consequence. I acknowledged Denise for setting healthy boundaries.
Can you relate to Denise’s situation? Are you being physically or verbally abused? No one deserves to be the target of other people’s pain. No matter what happened in the past, you are a good person and you deserve to be treated with love and respect.
I discovered in the process I developed, HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation), that clients who allowed others to be abusive to them as adults experienced that behavior from their parents or guardians. Since we make decisions from our experiences, they decided that they must be bad and deserve to be abused. That is not true! The truth is that what people say or do is about them and not you. The truth is that you are okay and a good person no matter what others do or say.
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What self help book helped you the most? For shyness, self esteem, relationships etc.?
What are some self help books that helped you the most in terms of self esteem, and relationships?
anything by Paul McKenna such as
Instant Confidence
Change Your Life In 7 Day
they also come with a CD.
they taught me how easy it is to reprogram my mind.(and quickly)
The Tapping Cure by Roberta Temes is also good. don’t understand how it works but know that it works.
I have trouble expressing my self in close relationships, is there something i can do abt this?
Like… i havr trouble expressing my feelings. Does everyone havr this? I hate it, i think im pushing ppl away because of this.. im getting hurt because of this.. and its basically jus not letting me enjoy life. I always hold ppl yo a certain length n not get close. Pls help me. What can i do to become more trusting.
Yea i kind of have a brain fart with relationships. But i do tha roger waters thang and tear down the wall and just grab ppl cuz if you hold them away then youll never find out how close you can get. Just loosen up (dont get to crazy) dont try to express your feelings- let them come naturally. And alot of eye contact. Just dont stare at their chin when your talking to them.
Relationship self help book recommendation?
Anyone recommend a good self help book? something similiar to Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Something that takes about understand both male and female thoughts and problems. Maybe even a little comical so that it won’t be so boring? I have a short attention span when it comes to reading so need something good but all suggestions are welcome
THANKS!
The Princess Who Believed in Fairy Tales: A Story for Modern Times by Marcia Grad
http://www.amazon.com/Princess-Who-Believed-Fairy-Tales/dp/087980436X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207728931&sr=1-1
A really good book on self help or relationships?
im not a big readier but lately i just feel so depressed and low and not wanting to do anything
im 23 work full time and feel like my niceness is taken for grantited i love my bf more than anything but me being like this right now makes it hard to show him i just wanna be left alone in a hole to just sit there .
I want a book about helping a young women.
and have read a book and have it really touch you ? what was it and what was it about ?
It’s an oldie but goodie and is still relevant today, “Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus.” It should be available at your local library. It’s written in kind of a humorous tone, but the concepts really work in improving the relationship – especially if both partners are willing to try. Mine (at the time) was skeptical, but even with just me making changes, it inevitably had a positive effect on the relationship. Give it a try, and best wishes!