October 25th, 2011 
jvremec
Why We Get Angry And How To Control Anger
Anger is an emotional distress which must be checked and not allowed to grow into a mighty rage. People have died from the anger of country or group leaders through creation of wars or through acts of terrorism. Marital abuse, child abuse and street fights are some of the effects of anger that have gone out of control.
Usually a person gets angry not out of choice but out of provocation. The challenge here is to disallow provocation to influence our emotion and make us do things that we regret later. If we have a problem in managing our anger, we must learn to control it before it controls us.
* Frustration due to obstacles to what we desire or need.
* Pain and discomfort
* Our angry childhood environment
* Personal insult
* Huge ego
How do we control our anger? We cannot control how and when we get angry but we can control and choose what we want to do with our anger. If we know that we fly off the handle easily, there are ways that we can do to manage it.
Expressing anger is not necessarily unhealthy, as long as it is constructive and serves as a warning. When an anger is suppressed over a long period of time, there is a possibility of greater damage when that anger is released eventually. In the society that we live in it is expected of us to suppress or repress our anger so be mindful when you choose to keep something within, you either overcome by forgiving or you let your feelings known calmly.
We can choose to walk away from a volatile situation to give ourselves time to recover and reflect. You will begin to see things in different perspective when you have time to cool off. Why sweat it and use up a lot of energy in this already stressful world?
Go drink a glass of water, as water has healing properties. Go lie down somewhere else and stop focusing on the negative scenario. Stop giving energy to the anger. In some religious belief, anger is the devil itself. It sits right on top of your head and spur you on. Do not give permission for your anger to breed.
To forgive is to forget and it still holds true. It’s a simple yet powerful way to release the toxic from your system. Say out loud that no one has the right to offend you without your permission. When you forgive someone, you forgive yourself too.
Try to look at it with a sense of humour. Laughter is indeed the best medicine. Another way is through meditation where you seek peace, clarity and selfempowerment. Or you can release anger by exercising or brisk walking.
Do a self-evaluation and establish what situation makes you angry? If ego is always the cause of you anger, then deal with your ego. Wanting to be right always does not give you the right to be angry. However if you feel it is beyond you to overcome your anger by yourself, get professional help.
There is no issue of shame if what you are doing will help yourself and the people around you.
Anger control is possible once you decide you want to control it and not let it control you. Walk away, reflect , laugh and forgive. If it gets too hard, seek help through medication or alternative healing.
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Speech about Self-Love, where do I start?
For my final Public Speaking presentation I want to write speech about the importance of self-love and self-preservation. Need websites or help on how to go about starting…
When the expressions “loving yourself” or “self-love” are first heard, there may be confusion about what is meant. This is because we think in terms of the love we are familiar with, dependent love. If we try to love ourselves, we may take an approach similar to that used in dependent love, using ourselves as the object of our love. We may try to escape into ourselves, as we escaped into others. We may become self-absorbed and self-indulgent, putting our own needs first. The motive is still to escape. We reject unhappiness and, in so doing, reject ourselves.
Self-love has nothing to do with using yourself as the object of your love. Self-love means that your love comes from within, is generated from within, not from “loving” any object because it may please you tremendously, whether that object is someone else or yourself. Self-love is a condition of awareness, a way of perceiving, an attitude, which results in an integrated perception of the world.
The art of loving yourself begins with self-acceptance. They are essentially the same. You begin loving yourself when you stop rejecting yourself, especially on the feeling level. When you practice self-acceptance of your feelings as they are now, you will experience real changes in consciousness. You no longer try to juggle people or possessions in the external world in order to find fulfillment. You find fulfillment from within, simply by accepting, without acting out, your feelings as they are right now.
Do not underestimate the importance of self-acceptance. It can end the emotional pain that you feel or lead to the spiritual experience you want. Starting with the mundane, you will reach the highest of inner realization. In welcoming all your feelings, you become whole; life becomes holistic. You experience oneness. You no longer compulsively search for oneness in the external world, whether with another person or with an achievement. You accept and love yourself.
Can anyone offer any good books to help with self love?
I know my boyfriend loves me so much. The problem is that I’m looking for his love to fill me up instead of loving myself first. I’m having trouble doing so and find that books help me a lot. Can anyone offer any suggestions of books or websites?
Yes, Co-dependent No More by Melody Beattie. It is a great book to help you love yourself.
How can I teach my daughter about self-love?
I’m Afro-Japanese and my ex-girlfriend Alisa is Russian. We’re separated and I only see my daughter on weekends. She came up to me one day admitting to having confusion as to why she looks different than other people and had different textured hair. I tried to explain to her that her African genetics are strong, and that is a good thing. She then was sounded mad at her black side saying she wished she didn’t have that texture of hair (very thick/course). I’m only 27 so I’m confused myself. Could you help me?
You cant teach self love you can only be an example of it…
How can I teach my daughter self-love?
I’m Afro-Japanese and my ex-girlfriend Alisa is Russian. We’re separated and I only see my daughter on weekends. She came up to me one day admitting to having confusion as to why she looks different than other people and had different textured hair. I tried to explain to her that her African genetics are strong, and that is a good thing. She then was sounded mad at her black side saying she wished she didn’t have that texture of hair (very thick/course). I’m only 27 so I’m confused myself. Could you help me?
How do you help someone who has no self-love and is on a self-destructive path?
He’s 28yrs old and always struggled with anger and frustration problems because of his ADD. He graduated college in November but has no job and still living with his parents.
Ever since he was a little boy, he believed he would die young. He says that his self-destructive ways are intentional so that he will die young.
His daily routine is to wake up at 4 pm, have a ciggarette, eat one meal, hop onto the computer and play games and smoke weed until 5 or 6 in the morning.
His parents are never home so they don’t know about these habits. He lies completely to their faces about what he does all day and his parents buy everything he says. If they only knew how troubled he really was. He just obviously doesn’t do anything for his future because he’s not planning on living in the future. He has no love for himself or anything else….
What should I do? I’m the only person that knows how truly destructive he is. How could I help him? Where can I get information to learn to help him?
The only way to help someone like that is to let them hit rock bottom. I know it sounds harsh but has to happen. Honestly what would be best for him is to get out of his parents house, even if it means you telling them and them kicking him out. He has to figure out what life is about. He has to love something. Maybe that one thing is weed. They say you can’t get addicted to weed, NOT TRUE! I did and know others who have. He needs to go to rehab. A lot of the “I don’t care” attitude comes from constantly being high. Once he gets his head clear he should realize how much he loved having a free ride. Rock bottom is different for everyone, for some it might be rehab or others living on the street with no where to go. Help him find his! I’m telling you ROCK BOTTOM is the only way they see the light.